Time Travel, for the Condescending.

I'm not much of a team player.

In high school, when we had group projects, I'd be the first to raise my hand and ask to work alone.

When that wasn't an option, I'd either take the reigns or the brunt of the workload. After all, who can do a better job than me?

(Don't answer that. Please.)

Well, I'm changing my evil ways. Temporarily, at least--for the sake of a guest blogger who not only does a good job, but is just about as cocky as I am. I have no idea what Mr. C actually looks like, but for some reason I picture a young Humphrey Bogart swirling whiskey in a glass with a backdrop of chandeliers and an orchestra playing "One Enchanted Evening," silently luring in the beautiful blonde across the room for a romp in the coat closet.

What? It's not like I've thought this through before now or anything.

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I had a totally different post in mind to write as a guest here on Hannah’s blog, but I decided to change it last minute. I was going to write something funny, but Hannah’s blog is home to more than funny, so I’d like to talk about something imaginative and curious. Of course it will be in typical Mr. C fashion.

I wish I could live in a different time. Do you? Have you ever had the feeling that you would feel more comfortable in a previous time, in a previous place? And what would you be doing?  Maybe in fact we all were living past lives of grandeur or pauper, I don’t know, but I can’t say the thought hasn’t crossed my pondering brain.

What I do know is that there are plenty of periods in time where I would love to have been a part of. You may have heard my salty tales of wishing I was a pirate, braving fierce storms and plundering delicious booty in exotic ports. But I wouldn’t actually want to devote my life to a ship lacking showers, plus a ship full of sea wenches and greasy men would probably invoke a self walk to the dreaded plank, and I don't wish to die a watery death.

I’ve dreamt of where I would fit in the best, and have thought of being a dapper don in the roaring 20’s, A southern gentleman with a six shooter in the 1800s (who runs a personal brothel), an artist in 19th century France forced to paint and sex women daily, and even a medieval knight with a strong arm and a rabid libido.

The problem when I think of these wonderful images, is that they are only appealing on the surface to me. I think where I would really feel comfortable is as an Egyptian Pharoah. If you read about the life of an ancient Pharoah, it’s a fine one, although not just anyone can handle it. I would handpick the most beautiful women, have absolute rule over all the land, and be treated as a near deity. I wouldn’t abuse this power, I would make sure every one had good entertainment, wine, and fine perfume. I'd make wise decisions with the Egyptian powers bestowed upon me, like summoning the Cheshire cat to accompany my rule. Or making sure everyone gets laid all the time. Isn't that worth burying me in a palatial pyramid and getting to write  your name in mysterious pictures on my phallic obelisks throughout town?

Now regarding Hannah, I cannot place exactly where she should be, but I know she went to high school with a hot porn star, and she likes to eat the forbidden fruit, so I would be ok visiting her wherever she belongs.

Where would all of you like to be?